August 27, 2014 (backdated for educational purposes)

“One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder.” ― Ziad K. Abdelnour

Where did this all begin?

It honestly began in elementary school, when I had a MuffinTop before they were fashionable.  Sadly, this continued through High School and College and I tried every silly “diet” out there because I no longer wanted to be the “fat cheerleader”.  Too bad, so sad!

Finally, in my early 20’s, I grabbed hold of myself, found a reasonable way of eating and took the weight off successfully.  At one point I even weighed 121 and size 4 was hanging on me.  That was well and good until I hit 30 when baby #1 came along.

The day I gave birth, I weighed 192.5 and he weighed 8 lbs 10 oz.  That means that I gained 60 lbs…and the yo-yo cycle began again.

Starting from 2000, every 5 years, I’d lose the weight for my High School Reunion…and during those 4 years in between reunions, I’d slip back into old eating habits, which were exacerbated by having two boys.  A typical question I’d for them after lunch was,  “You’re not going to finish that grilled cheese sandwich?” For some reason the trashcan didn’t seem like a viable option -it was wasteful- and before I knew it I was on a mission to save the Atlantic Landfills.  Ahead of my time, once again, I became the human composter.

That all changed with another looming High School Reunion.  In June of 2008, tired of winning yo yo champion every 5 years, my goal changed to:

 Taking Off and Keeping My Excess Fat at Bay

That was my only goal and my forever goal.

In order achieve that goal in October 2008, I attended NPTI to become a personal trainer and nutrition consultant.  In 2010, to “stay in the game of lean” and to test my strength mettle, I joined the Team Force powerlifting team.  In 2012, powerlifting became a little stale for me and I found myself struggling to lift consistently and keep excess fat at bay.  To reinvigorate my life,  I changed my goal to compete at 132 lbs and to stay as strong as possible during that significant weight loss.  It was a lofty goal to lose 19 lbs in 10 weeks, but I committed to that goal and not only weighed in at 131.34, I also nailed all 4 world records at the 100% Raw Powerlifting Worlds in Las Vegas.

Now it’s 2014, and I’m struggling to find goals in line with my inner and outer dreams.

I see a pattern, and being the awesome sleuth that you are, you probably do too. That’s right, it’s TWO YEARS later and it’s time for some invigoration through re-invention .

I have two choices-

Walk Away and Try Something New

OR

Try Harder at What Once Worked.

It’s possible that I need to face my inner drama queen and conquer my fears of leaving my favorite sport and change my long term goals (6 months to a year) to fat loss.

Whatever I decide, I will FULLY COMMIT to my plan.